


If you'll keep me silver and safe

by Yuu_chi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon Era, Comfort Sex, Counting your luck by the marks on your skin, M/M, Slow nights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-24
Updated: 2014-01-24
Packaged: 2018-01-09 21:35:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1151052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yuu_chi/pseuds/Yuu_chi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because sometimes the proof that we're here is just the marks we wear and "I'm glad you're alive" can get you through the night</p>
            </blockquote>





	If you'll keep me silver and safe

Levi’s back was broad and scar-worn; warm in a way that had more to do with comfort and familiarity than heat and sheets.

Eren’s cell always felt cold no matter how many blankets he had.

When sleeping in Levi’s quarters was still new and frightening Eren used to lie awake the whole night, staring at the dustless ceiling with his fingers clutching tight at his shirt so he wouldn’t disturb the sheets, and listen to the steady whisper of Levi’s breathing like the hiss of freshly oiled manoeuvre gear beside him. He’d count each inhale and hold his own breath every time the exhale faltered until he was dizzy.

“ _I’m not a cat, Eren_ ,” Levi had said one morning when he’d awoken to find Eren stiff and immobile to the left of the bed, his voice laced with sleepiness and annoyance in equal part. “ _I’m not going to wake every time you so much as wriggle_.”

It took some time and several near heart-attacks when Levi’s breathing stuttered whenever Eren moved, but eventually he realized that Levi was telling the truth. That so long as he didn’t carelessly touch him – because Levi was a soldier, and soldiers were trained to be on the ready – he could do whatever he pleased.

It took longer still for him to realize that between sleeping and watching the slight flex of Levi’s bare back as he breathed in deep there was a definite preference.

Eren had slept in a barracks most of his adolescence. He was used to naked skin; even more so since the evening Levi had pushed him against the stable wall and kissed him breathless, stupid and undeniably in love. Since the first night Levi’s hands had skated along his bare ribs and Eren had tried so hard to act like he knew what he was doing, terrified of scaring him off if Levi knew he was his first, last and only _everything_.

( _until Levi had stopped and taken his hands, pressing a kiss to his knuckles and looking at Eren with such fierceness in silver-light eyes that the straps tight around his lungs had eased and Eren could_ breathe _again._ )

Levi’s back was a sprawl of unfamiliar white.

The skin that Eren was used to seeing was tan and dyed brown by the constant batter of the sun; tough like leather and hard to touch, bruises from training marks that blackened around the edges in a way that made him think of the chalky-ash left behind after a fire.

Levi’s back had no bruises, only scars.

In the evening gloom Eren could only just make out the knots of scar tissues twisting along in scrapes and starts; coils on his shoulder blades and pinking that slid down to curve around the ladder of his spine.

His fingers tingled in an ache to reach out and trace them.

It was well past midnight – it was easier to tell here than in his cell where no moonlight shafted – and they were both naked but for the crisp, white sheet resting easy and loose on the sharp jut of Levi’s hipbone.

Levi had been asleep for hours. It was just Eren and the steady rhythm of his breathing, the marks on his back.

Before Levi he hadn’t known what true thankfulness was. He’d been so busy being angry; angry about the titans and the walls and his mother. Angry about anything that stood long enough for him to work up a fury at. Jean, the Military Police, the instructors during training. Anything he could focus on; anything to channel the restless energy that slow-boiled like fire in his veins.

It never occurred to him that he had anything to be thankful for; but with his fingers hovering so lightly above Levi’s scars painted along the naked canvas of his back, he was _thankful_.

 “What are you doing?”

Eren’s finger stiffened from where they were sketching the air just above the dip of Levi’s spine.

“Sorry,” he whispered although he didn’t retract his hand. “Did I wake you?”

Levi didn’t answer; only rolled over in a hypnotic flex of sharp contracting muscles and a smooth slide of naked skin on the sheets. His hair was mussed against the pillow and his mouth was a sleepy line that wasn’t quite a frown but his eyes were alert and interested. “What were you doing?” He repeated.

Eren’s hand hovered uncertainly between them. “Nothing … Sorry, I’ll just…” He gnawed at his lip and made to move his hand only to have Levi’s fingers reach up in a silent rustle to wrap around his wrist, easing Eren’s hand down, palm sliding up to grip nearer to his elbow as he shuffled closer and draped Eren’s arm easily over his ribs so that his fingers brushed along the smooth skin just above his waist.

“It’s fine,” he breathed. “You’re probably thinking some stupid shit anyway.”

“Well, yeah,” Eren admitted, because he was.

Levi’s mouth twitched up into a small smile and Eren’s heart didn’t stutter or stop like the first time Levi had smiled at him like that but something like warmth and hunger flooded through his blood, like his heart was pumping hot coffee or early-morning firelight.

He eased himself closer slowly, giving Levi plenty of time to push him away – he would if he were uncomfortable, of that he had no doubt – but Levi just watched him silently with amusement as Eren edged in until they were sharing one pillow and the hand that had been resting just above his spine was curled in to brush at his lower back.

“Is this okay?” Eren asked nervously, because he could never be entirely sure where Levi would draw the line.

Levi snorted and lifted one hand to cup Eren’s chin and ease him closer for a slow kiss.

“I’m sure I’ll manage,” he huffed against his lips and Eren smiled stupidly at him until Levi rolled on over him with hands braced either side of his head to kiss him properly.

No matter how many times they did this it never stopped making him feeling like somebody had set a fire beneath his skin, deep in a place he could not reach. The fact that they could, that Levi would let him – that Levi _wanted_ him – it made his head spin.

Each caresses of his lips was like candlelight; soft and achingly familiar, but with a hotness burning underneath each lazy flick of his tongue and Eren quickly found himself losing track of where one finished and the next started, his arms slipping up over Levi’s shoulders as he tried desperately to keep pace.

One of his hands shifted as Levi’s mouth left his to graze teeth along the tilt of his neck and beneath the rough tips of his fingers he felt uneven skin pulled taunt in a smooth slip of scar tissue.

He felt dizzy so suddenly that he barely noticed the way his fingers tightened like claws in Levi’s skin until Levi pulled back.

“What?” He asked, lips against his chin.

“It’s…” Eren breathed out and tightened his knees against Levi’s waist because he just wanted to be _closer_ and _near_ and for Levi to never let him go. “I’m just so glad you’re alive.”

His voice didn’t break, although it was embarrassingly close, but it came out open and honest and earnest in a way Eren had hoped it wouldn’t.

“Hey,” Levi scolded as Eren squeezed his eyes shut. He lifted one hand and the mattress creaked, thin fingers splaying along his face to stroke evenly. “Jesus, don’t look like that. It’s alright. I’m ….” He paused for a minute and Eren couldn’t hear anything now, not even the steady intake of breath. “I’m glad you’re alive too.”

It was easier to open his eyes after that, to let Levi lean in close and kiss him again, quickly turning attention away from confessions and words and promises with the press of his fingertips against his skin and the warmth of his back beneath Eren’s hands as Levi hauled him upright in his lap.

Sex between them could be back-breaking fucking without pause or tender movements and hushed gasps. Tonight was an unprecedented mix of the two; Levi’s hands tight on his waist in a way that would leave bruises – that would heal too quick – but his lips against Eren’s ear whispering words so soft that he couldn’t even pretend he caught them as they flew by.

Every time they moved, each roll of their hips, Eren’s hands slid against Levi’s back and he collected more and more scars, counting each one the way he counted Levi’s breathes in the early days of their nights.

When his orgasm hit it almost took him by surprise. It was all he could do to cry out in a pained groan as he pressed his forehead against Levi’s; all that existed for him for the intensity in silver eyes and the scars many and numerous against the press of his palms.

“ _Levi_ ,” he gasped as pleasure shuddered through him and his vision whited – Levi’s hands wrapped up to hold him tight through it as he felt him shudder against him as his own climax hit.

It was heat and nearness and _life_ before it all went still.

Levi’s hands pushed his hair away from his sweaty forehead and lips pressed just above the bridge of his nose in an expression of tenderness he seldom got when they were both fully awake and aware. He could feel Levi easing him off his lap and back on to the bed, but it was hard to be certain of anything when all he could see was glimpsing shapes and shafts of light as his vision returned slowly.

“I’ll be back in a second,” he thought he heard Levi whisper and it was only the rustle of sheets and the weightless lift of the mattress that confirmed it. He must have dozed off because it felt like only seconds later the mattress groaned and settled beneath Levi’s weight and something cool and wet was wiping sticky mess from his stomach.

“Could have left it ‘till morning,” he muttered, but the words came out slurred and uneven.

Levi snorted. “You’re not sleeping in my bed covered in spunk. You’d be washing the sheets in the morning. Imagine trying to explain that to Erwin.”

Eren huffed into the pillow as Levi tossed aside the damp flannel and crawled back into bed, winding one arm under Eren’s shoulders and using the other to pull him in close.

Sleep-tired though he was, Eren’s arm rose from where it’d been arranged to rest loosely on Levi’s hip, slipping up his side to brush along his the first burgeoning scar that started at the top of his ribcage.

The feeling of it beneath his fingers calmed the already sleepy thrum of his heart.

“Why the scars?” Levi asked, soft and quiet in the silence, and he didn’t need to elaborate for Eren to know what he meant.

His eyes fluttered.

“Each one is proof that you’re alive,” he said, because it really was as simple as that.

Levi’s arm tightened around him and while he didn’t speak Eren knew he understood.

“Yeah,” he breathed against Eren’s cheek. “I’m grateful for that, too.”

(and Eren knew he wasn’t talking about himself.)

They went to sleep with the soft branches of moonlight spilling over their skin and each of Levi’s scars looked like silver.

Eren’s fingers traced each scar shapelessly and he couldn’t help but think– as Levi’s breath evened back off into sleep and his own eyes drifted slowly closed – that if every scar of Levi’s was silver, than he was the most precious man he’d ever know.

 


End file.
